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Sorry I’m Such A Bitch

December 29, 2011

Seriously, sorry.  I’ve been in more pain in the last 7 months than I’ve ever been in my life.  Almost every negative pregnancy symptom that you can imagine has been inflicted upon me this time around.  I know I’ve complained before, and I feel like that’s ALL I ever do….but I can’t help it.  When *you* ask me how I’m feeling, and I respond with a laundry list of “why I feel like crap” I know you were expected the canned response “tired but good” or something to that effect.

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The thing is, I can’t even fake it this time.  I can’t smile and nod and hold it in.  If you ask me how I’m feeling, you’re going to get the truth.  The truth is I hurt all the time, I sleep terribly, I’m tired and sore and depressed.  I cannot imagine how people deal with lifetimes full of chronic pain.  I can barely fathom the idea of feeling this way for another 9 weeks….if this were a life sentence I’d want the chair.

So again, I’m sorry.  If you’ve had the misfortune of seeing me lately (especially over the holidays), then you know I’m miserable to be around.  I didn’t want to stay home and keep Alexa from the joy her family members wanted to shower her with.  I offered (aka threatened) to stay, but then Peter insisted that he keep me company and take care of me.  I didn’t want it to be my “fault” for anyone missing Christmas, so I grinned (hahah totally didn’t grin) and beared (is that a word?) it.

Anyway, in a few weeks this will all be over.  Then I’ll be tired, but I’ll be JUST ONE PERSON again, so maybe I’ll feel human again.  Just put up with me until then.  I promise I’ll try to be less of a beast when it no longer hurts to sit down.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 29, 2011 4:41 pm

    Growing a person is hard work. You’re nearing the finish line though! I hope the next 9 weeks go quickly for you. Sometimes when I feel like crap, the only thing that makes time seem to go faster is watching funny movies.

    • December 29, 2011 5:05 pm

      It IS hard work. I was so NOT prepared for it to be this hard this time. The whole “every pregnancy is different” just didn’t click until this one was SO different from the first. Will not be trying my hand at another HA! BTW, I’m in better spirits today (enough so to see how nasty I’ve been over the last week or so)…in part…because I can sit again!

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