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Home Nurse No Go

December 7, 2011

Two weeks ago I finally had my first home nurse appointment.  FINALLY I wasn’t going to have to drive 45 minutes each way to get jabbed in the rear.  My nurse arrived a little early, which was fine.  She had warned me the appointment would take about an hour so getting it over soon…rather than later…was appreciated.  There were questions, LOADS of questions.  Somewhere in that interview I started to feel off.  Something was telling me this wasn’t right.  She was judging me, I could feel it.

When asked when my last doctor visit was, I reminded her that I used midwives and was she asking about my general doc.  NO, in fact, she wanted to know what real DR. was handling my premature labor risk.  Who was doing my ultrasounds?  Well, SORRY, the techs at the Perinatal Institute were scanning me every other week.  Apparently that counted for more than my regular midwife appointments (who were taking all the same measures an OB/GYN would be).  We finished up the lengthy forms and I signed my life away.  We made pleasant conversation and she remarked at how well-behaved and “beautiful” Alexa was.  [Side-note, Alexa loves all things medical and can’t wait to watch me get shots LOL]  She took my blood pressure and then asked me to lie down on the couch so she could hear the baby with the Doppler.

That was the first things that weirded me out.  Having that COLD blue gel squeezed onto my stomach in the middle of my living room was a little more intimate than I was comfortable with.  It’s the only way I can describe it, but it made me very uncomfortable to be having medical procedures performed by a stranger in my house.  Then I had to pull my pants down way further than my regular nurse ever asked.  The shot was administered further down and with more gusto than I’m used to.  My home nurse didn’t take the care to let it go slowly so the very very thick solution could absorb more easily.  She also didn’t rub the area for a minute or so to work it in.  Both were things my regular midwife office nurse took time to do so that the area didn’t get sore afterward.  I rubbed it myself, it hurt more than normal.  I was not pleased.

Then, the last clue as to why I was put off by this particular nurse was revealed.  She spoke about her PPD group at Riverview.  The hospital where Alexa was born.  It took a few days to click, but could it be?  Was this the same nurse that was in the delivery room with me?  Nooooooooooooooo, couldn’t be!  I was just feeling off from everything else.  I was just being too sensitive and making things up.  I was just tired of being poked and prodded and was scrambling for any excuse to go back to what was familiar!

Last Tuesday night I finally worked up the nerve (aka remembered) to go through the pictures of Alexa’s birth.  There aren’t many.  Really all I have are the ones of me looking terrible after the surgery, trying to catch a glimpse of my newborn daughter before they rush her off to another hospital.  There’s a nurse standing behind me in all of these photos.  I remembered the pictures and knew someone was back there…

  • the nurse that had been in the room when I was first admitted.
  • the nurse that had told me I had waited too long to come in.
  • the nurse that had told me I should’ve come earlier because now they couldn’t stop my labor, I was too far along.
  • the nurse that basically told me this was all my fault, that I was going to deliver at 30 weeks and I could’ve done something more to stop it.
  • the nurse that judged so harshly because we were using a midwife and birthing center practice in NYC and had actually had the gall to ask Peter why in the world we would want to do that.

It was her.  Her name tag spelled it out clear as day.  It was her.  I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t have that person in my house.  I already feel enough guilt and judgement about that day…I don’t need a weekly reminder of it.  She sealed the deal the next morning by showing up unannounced to give me my next shot.  At 8:30 in the freaking morning!

So…I’ve canceled my appointments.  After all of that work and hope that I’d get a nurse to come here, I’m choosing to go back to my two-hour round trip, once a week, appointments at the midwives’ office.  I would much rather drive than feel like this.


December PreSchool At Home

December 6, 2011

When I was in grade school I remember the month of December as full of fun and excitement.  There were so many crafts to make, songs to sing, and holiday concerts to prepare for.  I thought that I would try to do the same for Alexa.  We’re both exhausted from all the running around of the last few months, so it’s time for a bit of a break and some relaxed fun.

This month we’re skipping the formal lesson plans in lieu of an advent calendar with a holiday activity a day and a book a night.  You can read all about it on my friend Carrie’s blog – Little Big.  This year we have about 5 Christmasy books so we had to borrow 19 of them from the library HA!  Don’t worry, it’s a huge branch, they have plenty to spare.

Most days we’ll make a holiday craft (some will be gifts for family) or watch a Christmas movie.  Some of the activities are family events away from the house, and some of them will include friends if Alexa’s little buddies want to come over and play.  I have a whole collection of ideas saved on my kid friendly Xmas Pintrest board.

Some of the planned family day’s out include:

  • A trip to see Santa – which we did the big way in NYC with Aunt Resa and Uncle Johann!
  • Riding the holiday train – this is next weekend, cannot wait!
  • Christmas Eve family party – a White Elephant gift exchange, so fun.

Alexa seems to really be enjoying everything so far, and we’re only a few days into the month.  She loves Christmas lights and pictures of Santa (not so keen on the big red guy in person yet).  I think the train ride next weekend will be the biggest hit of the holiday season!

Don’t forget to check out the pictures here on Flickr, I’ll be adding to this album all month.

Last Trimester

December 5, 2011

26 wk ultrasound

I’m now 27 weeks pregnant and officially into the third trimester.  Only 13 weeks to go, theoretically.  In 3 more weeks I’ll be as far as I got with Alexa.  I don’t know how to be more pregnant than that and I’m worried.  Not worried that things will turn out like they did last time with a premature labor, worried that I’m already so uncomfortable that I won’t be able to deal with getting bigger.

I’ve been trying to work out more so I can better deal with the extra weight and fluid.  I think it helps a bit.  I do feel better, though way more exhausted, on the days that I get a little cardio in.  Nothing serious…just a half hour on the elliptical to get my heart rate up and my body moving.  Things are so so heavy in my tummy that I can’t take much more than that…though it’s getting easier so maybe the baby is up out of the way for now.

We’ve been doing too much though.  There hasn’t been a free weekend since the Fall started.  Basically 3 months of no-stop plans has worn be down.  I’m tired, cranky, and done.  I don’t ask for help often, not because I don’t need it, but because I’m too stubborn to admit it I guess.  Well that’s over with.  I’ve been letting Peter take Alexa to work with him (on-site daycare YAY!) on days that I’m feeling overwhelmed or just plain exhausted.

I really can’t wait to be done with this pregnancy.  I hate that I feel this way, but I’m miserable most of the time.  There have been many tears shed of the state of my psychical and emotional well-being.  Now this is not to say that I’m at all ready to be the mother of 2 right this second, but I wasn’t ready for Alexa and she turned out pretty well!!  I just want to not hurt anymore.  I want to be able to put the baby down and not have to pee 8 trillion times a day.

So yeah, that’s where I am.  Three months left and here’s to hoping the pass quickly!  It really shouldn’t be a problem since we’re going to be busy busy with birthing classes and third birthday plans right up until the week before my due date.

P.S. anyone that wants to come over and clean my house is more than welcome.  I can’t bend over for more than 5 minutes HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Our Baby Sprinkle

November 30, 2011

On Sunday November 13, 2011 our good friends and family came out to celebrate the newest addition to our family.  My mother and amazing friend worked together to throw us the loveliest little baby sprinkle.  It was a book theme and Ty went the extra mile to reinforce it.  From the amazing cake (pictured above) to the teeny book guest tags, everything was adorable.  I can’t wait to pull everything back out and read through all of the lovely notes left by our guests.

This shower was a smaller party since we’re having another girl on the same schedule as the first.  We didn’t need much of anything the way first time parents do.  We did, however, feel that every baby deserves a celebration!  We would like to thank each and everyone that attended.  You are all loved and appreciated more than you could know.  Thank you all for your kind words, generous gifts, and never-ending  support.

Please don’t forget to take a peak at the Sprinkle photo set on Flickr.  More pictures to be added soon!

Starting Over – New Holiday Traditions

November 26, 2011

It seems fitting that after publishing my articles over and Miss A that we would HAVE to start over on our holiday traditions.  We were all set to start putting up the outdoor decorations when we discovered that they were all ruined.  The hurricane that flooded our basement and took out our furnace also destroyed our Christmas supplies.  Almost nothing is salvageable.  The majority of our bins are laced with mold and mildew.

I’m not gonna’ lie, I cried about it.  Hundreds of dollars of ornaments and garland.  The amazing Monster Stockings we bought our first Christmas living together and the one we bought for Alexa on her first holiday season.  So many memories are sitting out on our front porch waiting to be tossed in a trash bag so they can be brought to the dump.  Big ugly tears **sobs**

There’s a little hope that some things can be saved through bleach and/or dry cleaning, but I’m not going to hold my breath.  Instead, I’m shopping.  New everything for a new year. This will be the first year that Alexa understands the concept behind Christmas and I won’t let this ruin it.

The only bright side to this whole mess is that I was already planning to keep the glass ornaments in storage in favor of a Kid Friendly Holiday.  That means I was already going to hand-craft lots and lots of paper decorations in lieu of the traditional breakable kind.  So while I’ll still need to replace the bulk of our outdoor decor the indoor things can be replaced over time.

One of the indoor additions this year will be another set of handmade stockings.  No monsters this year since the store is sold out already!  I found a truly amazing replacement though.  These adorable curly elf toed stockings from, you guessed it, Etsy!  Now we just need to chose our fabrics and place an order.  Yes, we plan to get the new baby her own stocking (with her name on it, just in case the shop goes out of business before next year) but no we won’t display it or share the name just yet ;D

Note to self, never ever ever ever ever store anything in the basement ever ever ever again.

Weekend of Firsts

November 21, 2011

This weekend we had Alexa’s very very first movie theater experience and sleepover.

We woke up on Saturday morning and went to an early showing of Happy Feet Two.  Alexa ADORES the first movie so we wanted to show her its sequel on the big screen.  She enjoyed it but we didn’t make it through the entire movie.  Almost, but not completely.  Next time we’ll show up a little later (the previews were just TOO long) and we’ll bring our own snacks.

Later that evening Alexa’s cousin Cammie spent the night while her parents celebrated another birthday for Uncle EJ.  The girls had a wonderful time playing dress-up, eating Chinese takeout, and then attempting to sleep.  Ok, well maybe Alexa had a better time with that last bit.  She stayed up WAY WAY too late trying to talk to Cammie.  Her poor cousin just wanted to go to bed.  Still, a big success since both girls did end up sleeping and no one lost their mind in the process ;D

On Sunday we had a big day planned.  First a round of chocolate chip mickey mouse pancakes at our favorite local diner.  Then we were OFF to the Liberty Science Center!  We spent a few hours running from exhibit to exhibit.  The girls had a blast!  We had a short break for lunch then more playtime in the toddler-only space.  When it was time to go the girls did NOT want to leave!

To be fair it was a cranky ride home with two over-tired little ones (and an uncomfy pregnant lady LOL!!), but it was a great day and a great weekend!  We hope to be able to do it again at least once more before our next baby joins in on the fun.

Overwhelmed by Hoops

November 9, 2011

I’m cold, oh so cold.  I realize that as I type this it’s about 63 degrees outside my window.  It’s warm in that there sun ;D  It’s still cold inside of my house.  That lovely porch that keeps the house super cool in the Summer….does the same in the Fall and Winter.  The warming effects of the sun have no effect on my living room.

I think most of you can tell by my rantings on FB and Twitter that we’re lacking a heat source in this house.  Well, save from the space heaters and ghetto fabulous oven. I figured it was time for an official post on the topic since I’m tired of retelling this convoluted story, HA!

In August when the Hurricane hit, and our electric was out for 4 days, our basement flooded (the sump pump can’t work sans power) which killed the furnace.  Rather than fix and already old machine, we opted to upgrade.  Rather than stick with the nasty oil heating system of the past, we opted to switch to the cleaner natural gas system.  It’s been downhill ever since.

It takes months to get a gas line ran (we still don’t have a meter set on ours and it’s been 2 months).  We had attempted to have some insulation sprayed into our walls to retain some of the heat that we’re burning with these portable contraptions.  That led to an energy audit that gives you the option to take out federally funded 0% interest loans and rebates for energy upgrades.  That process takes weeks.  That process has been completed and we were approved, now we wait for estimates based on our upgrade needs to meet the requirements for the program.

We’ve had a slew of sheisty contractors come in and try to pretend like the $10K loan is free money (they’re super happy to spend it for us).  That, of course, sets back the clock every time you have to get ANOTHER estimate ran with ANOTHER company hoping that this one won’t try to screw us over.  All the while November is ticking past and it’s only getting colder outside our already cold house.

I’m officially spent.  I’m officially exhausted by all the jumping through of hoops.  I’m officially done and ready to just burn the damn house to the ground (I won’t really, I promise).  We just want to be warm.  We just want a fair price for the job.

Add to all of this the fact that I stay home with a 2 year old all day.  Our power bill is going to be REDONKULOUS because you best believe I run those heaters on max to keep us kinda sorta not freezing.

Add again that I’m pregnant and already physically uncomfortable.  I’m a hormonal wreck on the best of days, so when something starts to nose-dive again (as it has a few times during the process) I lose it.  I’m all cried out.  I’m officially overwhelmed and doing my best just to keep the minimum held together in hopes that this will all be over soon.

Seriously cannot wait to sell this place in the Spring.  **FINGERS CROSSED** someone will want to buy it because I never ever ever want to own anything ever again ;-/